Fed up wasting your time with a washed up loser? Then look no further, Blushingbuyer is proud to present this, the ultimate in pleasantly proportioned pocket partners. Totally silent, this big hunk o'love has eyes only for you. Thats right, no wandering eyes, ogling other women.

True, our product doesn't do DIY, can't beat off muggers and won't satisfy you in bed, so what will you be missing? At least with our product you get to talk to a totally attentive partner, who doesn't interrupt with inane comments every few seconds.

So go on revolutionise your world, take this aid to true marital bliss home and utter these words..."You're all mine balloon features."

About 100cm tall when fully aroused. Comes with full instruction manual, which includes Biology, Dining, Sports, Exercise and Finance.